Day 2: My First (and Forever) Love

When I was about three, my mom walked by my room and heard my little girl voice telling a story outloud to myself. She peeked in and found me sitting on the floor with my favorite Winnie-the-Pooh book in front of me. I was reading the story, exactly as she read it to me many times before, turning the pages to continue following the story. She was amazed that I was reading so well at three years of age. Then she looked a little closer and realized that I was holding the book upside down. Apparently I'd had her read it to me so many times that I had memorized the story word-for-word, complete with when the pages were supposed to be turned.

However, it didn't take me long to figure out how to read those words for real. By the time I started kindergarten, I was reading at a first grade level. During reading time, I'd leave the room and work with some other people. While the rest of my classmates were learning how to sound out c - a - t, I was reading stories about a clueless maid named Amelia Bedelia who always managed to mess things up, a black and white dog named Harry who hated taking baths, and various rhyming nonsense from the ever popular Dr. Suess (my favorite was Hop on Pop. I checked it out from the library every chance I got.)

And thus began my eternal love affair with books.

Most of my childhood memories somehow include my books. I remember the endless car rides to who-cares-where for "family vacation" where I discovered the Margo series (a Christian mystery series from the 60's that I dug out of my grandmothers collection). And those random times when my parents decided to pretend we were the camping sort and would drag me and my brothers to their version of a "campsite" where I would find a quiet area under some trees and lose myself anywhere but there.

I remember in grade school when we would get those book order pamphlets. My mom would always let me pick one book from them and I would pour over the options and debate my choices until she finally gave in and let me get two. Then I would wait anxiously for the day the books would arrive and when they finally did, I wouldn't be able to wait until the end of the school day so that I could rush home and curl up with my precious new treasures.

I remember discovering the Baby-sitters Club books from one of those book orders. They were the greatest books ever and soon became my best friends. I remember how sad I was in Jr. High to have to give them up in order to grow into some older matieral. I then grew into the Sweet Valley High series. I remember my brothers in tee-ball on Saturdays, which happened to be right next to the library, so each week I would go over and collect as many of the books I could get my hands on and check them out, just to bring them back next week and swap them for some that I hadn't seen yet. And in high school, when I sadly had to come to the same farewell to those friends as well.

In college I took a Lit for Adolescents class, which introduced me to the classic "coming of age" stories that most people read in high school, but I missed because I was taking college Literiture classes instead. Stories like "To Kill a Mockingbird", "The Outsiders", "Lord of the Flies", and "Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry". I rediscovered the beauty and innocents of adolescent literature and started reading other things directed to that age group. I also decided to start dabbling in the true classics: Jane Austen, Charles Dickens, Nathanial Hawthorne and the like.

Over the course of many years, I've spent considerably less time with my love than I used to. I try to sneak in an hour here or there, maybe during my lunch or just before bed, but as life continues to bring new passions into my life, my old one gets set to the side once again.

But I'll never completely lose my first love. My dream is to one day have a home that has a large library where I can display all my treasured friends and a place for us to reunite from time to time.

30 Day Challenge: Day 1

So, my friend Stephanie has been doing this 30 day challenge in her blog lately. I think she's at day 16. It's interesting to learn things about my friend who I've known since childhood. And it's kind of fun knowing I will have something new to read every single day for once. My aunt has been getting on me for being so lazy and not writing much this past year, so I thought I'd steal Steph's idea and take up the challenge myself.

I won't lie: I'm a little worried that I won't be up to the challenge. It turns out that married life is a lot more busy and exhausting than I expected. Bedtime has become earlier, my evenings are spent actually doing "stuff", and my alarm has gone off EVERY MORNING (yes, even Saturdays!) at 6:45 am. And I thought I didn't have time to write while I was dating Jeff. . .

But I'm going to give it a very good try and hope that I can get myself into the habit of taking a little time every night before going to bed to jot down a little something. Maybe after 30 days, I'll be able to keep up with the daily life writing again.

So, here we go. Challenge #1 asks for 15 interesting facts about myself. I'll give you 15 facts and you can decide if they are interesting:

1. I like things to match. And I mean, I like EVERYTHING to match: my socks, my furniture, my book collections, my dishes. It's one of my quirks that is taking Jeff a little time to adjust to. Right now he finds it a charming quirk. Hopefully he continues to see it that way. . .

2. I have a long-standing and ever constant battle with anxiety and depression. I've actually been on Prozac for about three and a half years and Welbutrin for about a year and a half now. It's taken a lot of hard work, but I'm finally starting to understand my symptoms, my times, and what I can do to help pull me out of it a bit quicker. But it's still a battle and one I will probably deal with forever.

3. My favorite food is Mexican. Tacos, enchiladas, nachos, burritos, churros. . . yum!

4. I'm apt to choose a salty snack over a sweet one almost every time. Unless brownies are one of the choices. Then it's a whole different story for my taste buds.

5. I hate camping. But I love Jeff enough to keep trying.

6. I recently discovered I have an allergy to buckwheat. Which is very sad because I absolutely adore buckwheat pancakes.

7. I like being left alone, but not necessarily ALL alone. I don't mind (and sometimes even prefer) for someone to be in the room, but not talking to me (unless that someone is in an angry silence. Then I hate having them around).

8. I change my perfume everytime I change boyfriends. I guess I should really be writing this one in past tense since I will have no more boyfriends from here on out. But the reason I did this is because smell is the most powerful trigger of memories, so I would change perfumes so as not to bring an ex into the next relationship. To be honest, I was beginning to worry that I would run out of pleasant scents. But luckily, Jeff solved that problem. And in case you're wondering, the scent I chose with Jeff (and therefore will probably be my fragrance for life) is Japanese Cherry Blossom.

9. I hate Georgia the way most New Yorkers hate New Jersey. I don't know why, and I don't really care. That's just the way it is.

10. I have a hard time with change. It makes the whole settling into marriage thing a challenge. But as hard as change is for me, I hate boring routines and the same-old, same-old even more. So I have to accept it, even if it is a bit grudgingly.

11. The only current events I bother to listen to come from the "Jon Stewart Minute" on my radio station. At least I can laugh for a moment when he comments about something happening in the world of politics and foreign affairs. The news in general just depresses me, so I refuse to watch it.

12. I own 43 pairs of shoes. And yes, that's after I gave away about a dozen so that my new husband would have room in our closet for his few pairs. But that's not going to stop me from buying more. Pink sandals are very much desired at the moment and I've been given the okay to order them. Yay!

13. Sometimes I'd rather cheer for the bad guy. But only the really smart, very clever ones, of course. If they are brilliant, they should be cheered for. At least in my mind.

14. I've been scrapbooking since before it became a super hobby. I picked it up in college, as a way to share my strange new life with my two younger brothers back at home. My first scrapbooks were made with construction paper, some Crayola markers, and generic Wal-Mart stickers.

15. My biggest fear is that I will fail as a wife. It's the title I've wanted for so long and now that I have it, I worry that I'll end up disappointing my husband. More than anything, I want to be the woman and wife that Jeff deserves, because he's been so  much more to me than I could ever express.

License to Marry

Jeff and I went to get our marriage license today! It's strange how exciting such little (and somewhat mundane) things can end upu being. I took off from work early because they are only open Monday-Friday 8-5, which is of course my work schedule too. Jeff came to my office and got me around 2:30.

I'm not sure why, but I was really nervous. My knees were weak, my stomach was woozy, and I was having a little trouble breathing. I tried to remind myself that there was nothing to be nervous about; no test is required and they weren't going to tell us "no".

Neither of us thought to bring our camera, so we had to use my camera phone to get a picture of us while we waited. The first one I took was a terrible composition for a photo, but it pretty much showed our emotions at that moment:

How can he be so calm? Why couldn't I be like that. I decided my hand was shaking too much to get a good photo, so he took over: 

Finally we got it. It really didn't take a long time. We were in and out in less than half an hour, which was nice. Later we stopped by his folk's house to get a good picture of us and our pretty certificate.

And in case you are wondering, yes, the stomach and breathing went back to normal when it was all over. 

The Long Awaited Story

December 18, 2010
Oaks Park in Portland

Jeff had made arrangements for us to hang out with a couple of our friends, Jeff and Jamee Shermer. We hadn't spent any time with them since the evening in October when we were invited over to play games and talk and stuff. Jeff and Jamee's wedding was the first one Jeff and I attended together as a couple, so we have a particular fondness for hanging out with them.

The guys decided it would be fun for us to all go roller skating together. So Saturday morning, Jeff and I headed off to the location of our first "official" date.

We got there a little later than anticipated because Jeff kept fighting with my GPS. He didn't like the way the Aussie Lee or the Brit Daniel told him where to go (guys! Why did he want me to bring it in the first place???). After many incidences of "recalculating", we finally arrived at the skating rink.

Jeff and Jamee were already there and skating. Jeff and I put on our skates and started finding our balance on the wheels. I told Jeff after the highly entertaining drive out there, I needed to use the restroom, so I gave him a quick kiss and told  him I'd see him in a sec.

When I came out, my Jeff was no where to be seen, so I found Jamee and her Jeff and started out on the rink. I figured Jeff was either fussing with his skates or using the restroom himself. The music was different this time. There was a birthday party going on that day, so instead of the 80's hits we reminisced to last time, newer pop music blasted us around the rink. At one point I looked at Jamee and said "is it sad that I know this is the Jonas Brothers playing?" Thankfully, she didn't think so. She's a very nice person.

Eventually I located Jeff. He still had not come out on the rink. Instead he was over next to the deejay booth talking to the person running the music. Requesting "Love Shack" just to irritate me, no doubt. I headed over. When he saw me, he paused in his conversation and came to me to see what was up. "Are you coming out?" I asked. He said he'd be out in a sec and went back. He doesn't usually shoo me off like that, so I figured maybe he's being sweet and requesting a song that we could skate to together to surprise me. That's the kind of thing he would do. He's just sweet like that.

Finally he did come out and skate with me. He held my hand and pulled me around a little quicker than I was comfortable with, but I held on and enjoyed the ride. He was a little distracted, but I know guys have a hard time doing two things at once and figured staying balanced was taking up his focus.

He started complaining that his feet were hurting. My poor guy; I suggested he sit down and give his feet a rest. He agreed and started heading through the middle of the rink toward the exit. Having spent many years in the roller skating world, I knew it was not proper etiquette to go through the middle, but rather to go around, so I pulled his hand to get him to go around the edge to a different exit. He started complaining more, saying he REALLY needed to sit down. I said I know and that the exit is right over there. No, he wanted to go this way. That's when I noticed there was a chair in the middle of the rink. I briefly wracked my brain to remember a skating game that requires a chair in the middle of the rink and couldn't think of anything, but it didn't matter; there had to be a reason the chair was there and it was probably NOT for a resting place for a guy who didn't want to go out the exit like everyone else. I kept pulling him toward the exit.

Jeff was persistent and I finally gave up. For whatever reason, he was determined to sit in the middle of the rink. I let him pull me over, rolling my eyes affectionately at the quirkiness of my boyfriend. We got to the chair and he leaned on it while I stood next to him. "It would have been just as easy to go that way and sit there," I told him. "Yes, I would have," he responded. Then he looked at me straight in the face.

The mood suddenly changed. The beginnings of my favorite, my most romantic-feeling song started flowing around me. My eyes widened in surprise. No one in their right mind would play Moon River during a pre-teens birthday, unless it was for a specific reason. "I know this song!" I said. What I meant was "I know what's going on." Jeff smiled and told me to have a seat.

I moved in what felt like slow motion. I was vaguely aware of Jeff and Jamee standing in the distance, one holding Jeff's camera, the other holding a video camera, both sporting wide, happy smiles.

Jeff moved in front of me and knelt down on one knee. He told me that the past seven months with me has been amazing and that he loved the adventures we have shared so far. He said he wants to spend his life with me. Then he pulled a ring box out of his pocket and asked if I would let him be my husband.

I said yes, of course.

It was amazing. In all my dreams, I couldn't have imagined a more perfect proposal. He was clever enough that it was a surprise; he was thoughtful enough that, even though it was in front of people, we weren't necessarily center of attention, so I didn't feel pressured (I'm not sure it would have mattered, though, because as soon as he knelt in front of me, the world around us literally disappeared to me); he was wise enough to plan ahead and write out the words that he said to me and have Jamee take pictures, so that I can include this most special moment in my scrapbooks; and he was creative enough to figure out how to give me my romantic soundtrack. Is it any wonder why I love him?

Playing Catch-Up

Okay. You win. All of you.

I've been a very bad blogger the last six months and I am sincerly ashamed of myself.

Too much has happened for me to completely fill you in with one entry. I'm not even going to try. I'll give you a brief summary of the past six months, and fill in the rest with random "flashback" entries:

I'm engaged!

Jeff has turned out to be a better leading man than I could ever have imagined. And he wants to continue playing the part for the rest of our lives. I'm more than happy to accept.

I'm still in shock at the moment. I've been an engaged woman for four days now and it still doesn't feel real. Tonight I told the rest of the family and so now all the people who needed to be told in person have been informed, with squeals of delight, hardy congratulations, and a few overjoyed tears being shed. Just moments ago, I officially changed my status on facebook, knowing full well that in three short months I will be changing it once again and for the last time.

The rest is a blur. Dates, dresses, bridesmaids, flowers, choices, choices, choices. And all this while trying to finish the Christmas stuff. It all makes the past six months fade in comparison.

And in the midst of it all, I'm happy. Happy to be loved, happy to be in love, and happy to have found such an amazing man to spend the rest of my life with.

Everything else becomes just background noise.