Crushed

So, I have officially finished my creative writing class. I turned in my portfolio yesterday and if I say so myself, it wasn't half bad. Actually, I'm rather pleased with it. It contained a revision of the story I wrote for my workshop piece, a slight revision to a poem I had turned in for class, and a brand new poem (the instructor was kind enough to let me start from scratch on my second poem since I was terribly unhappy with the other one I had worked on). I'm still debating whether or not I want to share them with my readers on this blog. It's not that I want to hide them or anything, but the story ended up being 10 pages and I don't want you guys to have to sit through that much and both of the poems have a less than cheery feel to them and I don't want to depress anyone. I think I'll wait until I get his feedback next week before I decide anything (maybe he will suggest some more revisions....) In the meantime, what do you guys think? Do you want me to put my final works up for you to see what's been keeping me quiet on the blog front lately?

Also, my fears of being thrown out of class for lack of talent was completely unfounded (as most of you were so kind to point out as I was going through my panic stage). In fact, when I told the instructor about the panic I felt when I was working on my first piece for him and my comment on this blog about being thrown out, he laughed at me and told me that he could honestly say that I was one of the best writers in the class. In fact, he said he wished that he could have an entire class of writers like me. That comment made the entire class and all the doubts I struggled with totally worth it all. I took this class to prove to myself that I could do better than the C I accepted last time I took Creative Writing, and now it doesn't matter what grade he gives me. I got what I needed out of the class.

So, now that the class is over, I can return to putting all my words into my blog again. I apologize for my long silences and uninformative entries lately. It seems I only have so much creativity at a time. I've been out here at mom's for five weeks now and only worked on my scrapbooks twice. Not good at all. But Barb is on her way out today to do some scrapbooking with me, so maybe I'll make up for that.

I'm sure you're wondering what's been happening the last few weeks, so I thought I'd do a quick catch up. Obviously, I managed to get out to the fair a couple of times. That was fun. Except for the first day, I ended the day with the WORST migraine I have ever had. It was so bad that I started throwing up on my way home and then the darn thing lingered for the rest of the week. Thankfully it was gone on Friday or I would have had to miss my second fair day.

Jade and I started doggie training. She's already a pretty well behaved dog, but we do have a few things we need to work on (for example, she barks at anyone she doesn't know and won't stop!) The training is just as much about teaching me how to handle her as teaching her the right behaviors. I think it will be good for us. Besides, it gives us something special to do together. Apparently there is only one other dog/owner signed up for the class, but they weren't there for our first class, so Jade and I had the instructor's full attention. It took Jade about 40 minutes (almost the whole class) to warm up to the instructor, but by the end of class, we were getting her to stop barking when people walked by. At one point, someone peeked in to see what we were doing and Jade looked at them and then looked right back at me without barking. She got a big treat for that (that's the behavor we are looking for).

I've babysat for J'sai a few more times while Kristina finished up her class. He's at the stage where the teeth are starting to poke his baby gums, but not enough to break through, so he's very uncomfortable right now. There was a lot of crying going on those days. Poor baby. The dogs would get all stressed trying to help me figure out how to make him feel better. It wasn't an easy task. It's good though, because it reminds me that I don't really need to be in a hurry to get one of my own.

Oh, and probably the biggest, and most unexpected (for me) news of late is that I've developed a crush! I know, it doesn't sound like much (and in all honesty it isn't because I'm sure that it will pass pretty soon) but for me, it's a huge relief. The last crush that I had was Terry and after everything we've been through, I was afraid he broke me. My short relationship with Steven reinforced that idea since I never really felt much during that time. But finally, someone new has triggered the fluttery butterflies and distracting daydreamy behavior. It's kind of nice being distracted because of a happy, sunny mood for once. I forgot what it's like to float through my day.

Don't worry, I'm not going to turn this into something sappy and wax eloquently about the lastest object of my affection. In fact, this isn't about him at all. I'm not really surprised in "who" I chose to crush on (he is exactly in the mold of all my former "crushes") and like I said, I completely expect it to pass soon; but rather this is about the fact that I am seeing a change in me. I guess crushing like this is a sign that I am FINALLY moving on.

One side affect to having a crush: I find myself giggling for no apparent reason again. It's so annoying. :-)

So, that's what's going on here. Mom and Don have been enjoying their trip, but are ready to be home. They should be here sometime next week and then it's back to my little boring apartment again. I get so spoiled out here.