Don't Waste the Pretty

There's an episode of Sex and the City where Carrie's current boyfriend is subjected to a batch of girl talk with Carrie and her friends. The girls are discussing recent dates and trying to interpret the meanings behind the actions of the men while Burger (the boyfriend) quietly listens intently. Suddenly Miranda looks over and asks for his opinion. Burger clears his throat and says, "If you ask me, it sounds like the guy is just not that into you." The girls are appalled that he would say such a thing! "What about...?" they ask, rattling off excuses that might mitigate his less than ideal behavior (he's scared, he has a lot going on, he doesn't want to hurt the friendship....) "Yeah, that's all code for 'not into you'." Burger informs them. Miranda is intrigued by this information and realizes that she could have saved herself a lot of time and energy (not to mention money on shrinks) if she had known this earlier.

The episode garnered such interest and intrige from the viewing women that a couple of the writers got together and wrote a book about it. The book became a best seller almost immediately.

My mother felt I could learn something from it, so she bought me a copy. I'm currently reading it, just like all the other hopeless women in America.

Apparently, most women who read this book find the information empowering and liberating; I find it depressing and sad. Not only does it shine a harsh and glaring light onto what a pathetic mess I've become over a certain someone of the recent past, but it continues on to inform me that, in fact, NONE of the guys I've been involved with have ever really been "into" me. How's that for a self-esteem buster?

Blah, who needs them anyway?

I am learning some positive things from the book, too. Like how to stop wasting my time on guys who just don't appreciate the wonderful that I am (I've made it a couple of weeks without initiating communication from the Heartbreaker I once followed like a puppy). Now if I can just convince myself that I really am as wonderful as the book seems to think I am....

The theme of the book, the mantra that I will continue to repeat until I know, believe, and am able to live: Don't waste the pretty! Don't waste the pretty! Don't waste the pretty!!!
See how pretty? Why would I want to waste it???

And while I wait for a guy who recognizes what a great catch I am, I'll just have to content myself with the world in my head, the alternate reality that I created where I am the woman to be desired and the world runs according to my personal whims. Check out my other blog, Deema's Wonderful World of Pretend, for a peek inside my imagination.