Lessons Learned

Okay, I admit it. I was duped. Played for the fool I am. I fell for his pretty flowers and sweet words. I got set up and took the bait. Bad Deema! You know better than that! You ARE better than that!

Regardless, it happened and now I am doing everything in my power to erase the memory of the last month and my oblivious naivete. In all my years of making bad choices, I can honestly say I've never been so ashamed of my foolishness (at least my other shameful mistake was one I knew I was making from the beginning. Stupid, yes, but not really "foolish").

Haven't I learned anything in all these years?

Actually, I have. And if nothing else, this recent travesty of a relationship has reinforced the lessons I shouldn't have to remind myself of. And now I will share my wisdom in the hopes that I will save at least one young, hopeful star-gazer from making the same mistakes as myself:

If it seems too good to be true, it probably is. I know fairy tales aren't real. And yet, I seem to fall for it every single time. Yes, the right relationship should be easy, but if I find myself sailing along on a glass-smooth course toward Happily Ever After, it might be time for me to put on the breaks and take another look at the map I'm working from. There is no such thing as a "perfect relationship". Or a "perfect man" for that matter. The truly heroic knights should have a few dents and tarnish in their armor, but keep going as if they didn't.

Always trust my gut. In those moments when I call up my girlfriends in a fit of unreasonable frustration over this or that and get told I'm being paranoid, it's time I take a step back and evaluate the source of my fears. Are they coming from my head or my gut? There's a fine line between "paranoid" and "good instincts" and the difference is precisely that source. While it's never a good idea to indulge my paranoid rantings, convincing myself that my gut is actually just that could prove just as harmful in the long-run.

Long distance is a VERY BAD idea. To quote my ever entertaining TV show "Long distance is something said by teenagers the summer before college to get laid." In other words, another myth. Even with the constant connectivity of the ubiquitous texting capabilities, there's no replacement for the ability to share a meal, take a drive, or snuggle up and watch TV with the one you love. It was silly for me to pretend that a person like myself, who is fully aware of her tactical love language, could substitute the touch of another person with electronic words.

In an attempt to find something good that came out of all of this, I was able to inform Terry that after three long years, he has finally been bumped from the number 1 slot on the "Shit List".

At least one person has a reason to happy dance. . .