Meeting the Parents

Jeff took me to meet his parents today!

The whole thing started after church. We were meeting Don and Mom and Derrick for brunch to celebrate Father's Day. As usual, we were there before them, so while we waited, Jeff decided to call his dad and see what his plans were for the day. When he discovered that the family would all be getting together later that day, he put the phone down and asked if I'd be interested in going over and meeting them. When I said sure, he got back on the phone and told his dad he would be "bringing a guest."

Brunch with my family was fun. Jeff seems very comfortable with my family. He and Don have a lot in common and they had plenty to talk about. And Jeff told me later that he enjoyed getting the chance to get to know mom a little better too (he said she seemed a little more comfortable on this visit. Probably due to the smaller group and the lack of "first impression" pressure).

After brunch, we went our separate ways for a couple of hours. It gave us a chance to go home, change out of our church clothes, and each grab a small catnap. Sunday catnaps are very important.

I awoke from my nap to the sound of the doorbell ringing, followed quickly (and loudly) by the barks of two dogs who were just surprised out of a deep slumber themselves. By the time I stumbled over to the door and opened it up, I realized that I had slept too long and was going to have to figure out how to shake the drowsiness quickly so I don't make a bad impression to the parents.

I was able to rouse myself on the drive over to their house. As I had said before, his childhood home was not very far away from my childhood home, so the second we turned onto the familiar street of 39th, my brain woke right up. As we drove down, I pointed out the road that lead to my old church and looked at all the changes that the houses on my street had undergone.

When we got to the house, Jeff took me through a quick refresher of the members of his family (mother, father, brother, sister-in-law, and nieces) and we headed in.

The first thing I noticed when I walked into the room was his youngest niece (age 14?) sitting across the room, grinning up at her uncle and this strange woman following behind him. She had a very bright, very sweet smile that literally felt blinding to me. Jeff started making the introductions and my eyes adjusted to the bright smile in time to catch the look that swept quickly around the room: "Did you know he was dating someone???"

Well, that wasn't what I was expecting. As we sat down on the couch, I gave him a sideways glance and asked very softly "did you even tell your parents about me?" His sheepish and apologetic look told me all I needed to know. Perfect. Throw shy Deema to the unsuspecting family. This should be interesting. . .

Ready, set, GO!

Actually, it wasn't that bad. His dad is very much into photography, so their house is filled with beautiful photos, which gave me an instant connection with him. Phew, one parent down, one to go.

Luckily, his dad provided the perfect way in. At some point, his dad commented that I look familiar to him and wondered if we've ran into each other before. Jeff said, "tell her where you used to go to church" and wouldn't you know, it was the same little church I had JUST pointed out to Jeff on the way over. They started going there shortly after I moved to Tennessee.

Suddenly I was at complete ease. Even though I had never met these people, they were friends with the people who was part of my life as I was growing up. In a weird, roundabout way, they were practically already family. I was able to chat easily and comfortably after that. And in a HUGE effort to make a good impression, I even forced myself to remain engaged and responsive when his dad decided to take a rabbit trail onto a political soapbox.

Jeff told me after we left that he could tell they liked me. Phew! What a relief.

A Very Busy Saturday!

With all the stuff going on in our lives right now, Jeff and I realized that we would have to "schedule" our time together. As sad as that sounds, it seems to work for us. Except for one small problem: so much of our scheduled together time is tied up in other activities (church, bible study, volleyball) that we are left with only one day free and too many activities to try and pack into it.

Today for example:

My friends Ron and Christy had invited Jeff and I over for dinner so that they could get a chance to get to know him. But Jeff had an "End of the School Year" party with his coworkers from the school that day and had already invited me to go with him. So we had to figure out how to work both activities into one day.

We started with an early dinner with Ron and Christy and Corban and Sam. I was rather impressed with how easily he connected with Corban. They got along really well and even built a Lego building together, so Christy is pretty sure that he got Corban's thumbs up. :)

Ron and Christy both seem to like Jeff (because, honestly, who wouldn't?) and he got along really well with them. Jeff told me later that he'd like to get a chance to talk more to Ron. I think they will have fun discussing guns and other boy stuff.

After we spent a few hours with Ron and Christy, we headed out to the company party. It was at the principal's house which was a very large property. There was a band of staff members playing when we arrived (we were very late due to our dinner engagement) in the barn. Jeff introduced me to a few people and we wandered around the party to see what all was going on. Jeff's coworker had built a HUGE fire that could cook me from ten feet away. After the band finished playing, they brought out the karoke, which Jeff was ready to take part of. He sang a couple of times, and I have to admit, surprised me with his voice.

He's so cute that I even permitted him to sing that song; the one I hate to hear; the one I hate so much that I was going to ban it from my ball. Blah. But he sang it with a few other coworkers and I have to grudgingly say it wasn't half bad. Considering.

I'm so lucky to have met a guy so willing to compromise with me. I'm not used to having someone else put my activities as a priority on his list of things to do. It's a very nice change.

(And for the record, now that I've written about it, that stupid song is now running through my head, which is one of the main reasons that I HATE that song so much!)

Not Who I Thought She Was. . .

We've been asked so many times what kind of dog Lucca is and we're never sure, so Derrick decided it was time to do a DNA test on her. So the last time we took the dogs in for a vet visit, we asked them about the test. The vet told us that yes, they could do that and hey, we were in luck because the test was on sale (what does that even mean???) We figured since we were getting a deal on it, and because some of our neighbors were insistent that she was part Pit Bull (and treating her with the fear that comes with the prejudice), we decided to have Jade tested too.

It took many weeks to get the results back. MANY weeks. But finally, the big news arrived. And I'm so amazed at what we learned that I feel the need to share our findings:

Lucca: Our hyper-active teddy bear turns out to actually be a mix of three different types of dogs.

Bull terrier + schnauzer + chow chow = Lucca

     

Interesting. It explains a bit about her personality. Especially the digging in my walls part (yeah, she's currently working on another hole. She's sneaky and onrey.)

The big surprise was in Jade's results. We'd been told that she was part Lab, part Boxer. We didn't really think she was Pit Bull as some others seemed to. But in reality:

Jade = Mostly black Lab (at least 75%) + American Bull Dog (at least 25%)

I feel like my world has been turned upside down. I can't seem to wrap my head around the fact that Jade has no Boxer, but instead Bull Dog. I mean, it makes sense. I can see the traits in both her body and her personality. But for over a year, I thought she was one thing and it turns out that she's something else all together. Wow. . .

Wild Waves

My church group did a trip up to Wild Waves! So much fun. And the best part: we actually got SUN!

I wasn't sure if Jeff would be able to go with me. He started classes this week and we weren't sure he would have all his homework caught up. Happily, he was able to get everything done so I could spend the day playing with my new guy.

It was a great day. We rode rides and splashed in the wave pool (I didn't take my swimsuit, but I did roll up my pants and wade in a little ways).

 We spent the day hanging out with Danielle, who is part of our Friday night Bible study.She's a lot of fun.

Eventually the activities and hot sun started getting to us and we found our way back to the rest of the group in the tiny bit of shade that we could find. We lounged around on the grass for a bit, talking, looking over our pictures, and napping slightly.

Dinner was BBQ ribs. Yum!

Then we sat around and played some card games.

The trip home was pretty quiet as most of us was so worn out we slept most of the way home. It was a great day and a lot of fun to hang out with Jeff for the entire day.

Spring Thing

Ah, the end of the academic year at the college. A time for relaxation. A time for fun. A time to prepare for graduation. 

Just before graduation, the college has its annual Spring Thing. It's a time to celebrate the hard work of the students. It's a big hoopla event that happens in the middle of the day. Because of the timing of the event, I am usually buried in paperwork and miss my opportunity to check it out, but this year I ran up during my lunch hour to see the festivites. 

They had pizza and ice cream and music. There was a rock climbing wall, an obstacle course (in the form of the Titanic), and Sumo wrestling. Oh, and an epic game of Capture the Flag: Pirates vs. Ninjas set up by my my cousin Angie.

A Year Without Grandpa

It's hard to believe it's been a year since Grandpa left us. Sometimes it seems like it was just last week. I still miss him so much and have not yet been able to get used to going over to Grandma's house and not seeing him in his chair in the corner. Every time I take a photo of flowers, I wish that he was here to enjoy it with me. Grandma's garden just doesn't look the same without Grandpa's loving care.

I realized that I never did get around to writing up an entry about how wonderful and special he was. But it's so hard to decide what to focus on. He was a great man and lived many wonderful years and there are so many things to say about him.

He loved his family very much. He especially loved his wife. He loved her long before she was willing to love him and he waited patiently for her to be ready to marry him. According to my mom and her siblings, he was an especially loving father. They rarely had babysitters because he always wanted the whole bunch of them with him. As his children grew up, got married and started having children of their own, he dreamed of somehow getting everyone into houses on his street so that all his kids and grandkids would be in one central location with him right in the center. He loved having us all together.

He was a fishing and hunting man. I have vague memories of sitting out on the small boat with him, waiting and waiting for a fish to finally take my bait and allow my grandpa to help me pull it in. I hated having to touch the fish, which he thought was terribly funny. But I loved it when he would cook those scaly creatures up with bread crumbs and lemon juice. Grandpa's fish was probably one of my very favorite meals ever. Followed rather closely by his biscuits and gravy, which I also remember eating at a young age.

Grandpa preferred to wear flannel shirts all the time. He had a whole bunch of them. Many of them were ones that I picked out for him for Christmas. As much as I love Christmas shopping, my very favorite part was when I would go to the men's department and locate their flannel shirts and spend great amounts of time trying to decide what color and style would look best on my grandfather that particular year. Every year he knew he'd be getting one from me, every year he would be very happy to get it, and every year he would be sure to wear it the next time I saw him.

There's so many stories I could share, so much I could say about him, but I don't think I'd ever be able to find the right number of words. Instead, I think I'll share a video we made for his memorial service last year. It shows so well the grandpa I remember, the one who loved his family, loved his dogs, loved his home, and loved his life.

Writing the Next Chapter

I'm so hesitant to write about this because of how quickly things turned ugly for me the last time I introduced a leading man into my story, but I'm getting scolded for not keeping up on my activities, so I guess I'll give it another shot.

When I had last left off, the cute ice cream guy had mentioned getting together again "sometime". The casualness of the question, mixed with the slight awkwardness of him getting it out left me thinking that he would chat with me at Bible study next Friday and then maybe bring up something causal we could possibly do together later the next week. I was not at all prepared to receive an invitation on Wednesday to do something that Saturday.

Saturday arrived and he and I went to Oaks Park to go roller skating. How fun! We bonded over shared memories of the 80's music and the old all-school skating parties we used to attend in elementary school. I knew we had attended the same high school, but I was surprised to learn that we also went to the same jr. high and elementary school. Turns out we were practically neighbors in our childhood days. Weird.

Roller skating was a fun and original date idea. And very smart. We were able to talk but during those times when we were not talking, we weren't sitting in awkward silence looking around the room wondering what to talk about next. Instead we had crazy 80's music and the desire to remain on our feet to keep us distracted. I think it's truly amazing that I can run around in vertigo-inducing heels like they are tennis shoes, but throw eight wheels on the bottom of my shoe and I become a total klutz.

After roller skating we went to a nice little family-owned Italian restaurant and discovered a shared fondness of pineapple on our pizza. He's more traditional with his pineapple, pairing it with the customary Canadian bacon, while I like to flirt with a more daring side and throw on pepperoni, but the common pineapple bond was a happy discovery.

Sunday was church and the "Party Because None Of Us Have To Work In The Morning" thrown by his roommates, which I happily attended and enjoyed. Terry and I taught him to play Kings while other partiers watched "That Thing You Do" or played Cranium games in the other room. At least, I think that's what they were doing. Terry said that a few of them seemed almost more interested in watching our game and the silly banter going on between me and each of the guys. I'm kind of glad I didn't notice that part.

Monday was Memorial Day and as such, a free day for those of us who work for the government. And Derrick (because Monday's are always his day off). I was planning on going to see Iron Man 2 on Tuesday and wanted a quick refresher, so I had asked if I could borrow the movie and somehow along the lines ended up agreeing to letting him come over and watch it with me. Yikes! Derrick assured me that we could get the house cleaned up enough for me to feel okay with this new interest of mine to come over without worrying that he would get eaten by monsters. I can't say I was at any point ever perfectly happy with the house, but at least Derrick was right and he made it in and out all in one piece.

*Bonus points for the guy: he came bearing popcorn, Coke, and a small ball to distract Jade from barking at him. Very sweet and very smart.*

On Tuesday he sent me a note asking if we could get together during the week and talk about "our relationship". To me, this is right along the lines of saying "Deema, we need to talk. . . ." Nothing good could come of this! For the rest of the day I pondered what on earth I could have done already to scare him off. No, not pondered; I obsessed. Maybe it was a bad idea to introduce him to my brothers so soon. But then again, he was the one who wanted to meet them. Maybe it was something I had said? Or something I didn't say? Did I forget to do something that is vital in this stage in a relationship? He was doing the pursuing, so it couldn't be that I was chasing him off by being too aggressive, and I thought I was being receptive enough to not give the impression that I wasn't interested. . . At this point, I reverted back to my standard postion that dating just SUCKS.

But I agreed to get together with him anyway. I figured it was better to get it over with sooner rather than drag it out. Like peeling off a band-aid: fast and with little mercy. We agreed on dinner at his place the next day. That struck me as an odd way to have the "talk": "Here, let me make dinner for you at my place. Oh and by the way, I've decided that I'm not interested in pursuing this any further. Have a nice day."

Actually, only a small part of me thought that. In reality, I realized that I hadn't had a chance to do something wrong and it was very unlikely that the conversation was going to go like that. That's dramatic Deema taking the control and I decided to reign her in before she went too far.

As you might have suspected, I had nothing to worry about. The conversation was nice and honest and very positive. I found him to be very different from any other guy I've ever known. There's no indecsion or hesitation with him. He doesn't seem to be running the customary tally of pros and cons on me. He seems to have no desire to hide me away or deny any kind of relationship with me. And he hasn't needed me to do anything to convince him to move forward. In fact, if anything, I'm the one stepping lightly and cautiously and each time finding it an unnecessary precaution.

At this point I realized that I'm going to have to give him a name in my blog. I could continue referring to him as "the cute ice cream guy" but it seems rather clear that he intends to be involved enough in my activities that it would get a bit tedious writing that out each time. But like I said at the beginning, I was still hesitant due to the last time my leading man got a real name.

Still undecided about the name issue for my blog (by the way, I hope this also explains a little of why it's taken so long to write all this stuff up), I agreed to go with him to play miniature golf for a birthday party. I thought it would be a good way to see how he did this dating thing when other people are around. He's very sweet and attentive when we're out together, but how will he be with me with his friends around? How would he deal with me in a crowd of people I don't know? I gave myself permission to leave him nameless in my story until I observed the answers to these questions.

He's just as sweet and attentive in a crowd of people as he is when we are alone. He didn't make me play, but allowed me to take pictures instead (I hadn't told him how much I really HATE miniature golf, but did express a hesitation about playing). He would come over and stand with me if I seemed to be lingering back from the crowd (which I actually didn't do as often as I normally would) and wait for me to feel comfortable enough to jump back into the group. And he held my hand without even a little trace of embarrassment.

And if that wasn't enough, the next day he met most of my family. And he still seems to like me!

So, I guess that means he's proven himself worthy of a name. Meet Jeff:

I'm a little excited to see what kind of leading man he turns out to be in my story. :)