The alarm sounds, but I'm not quite ready to surrender the coziness of my warm, comfy bed yet. I roll over and hit the snooze button and snuggle down for another nine minutes of dreaminess.
This happens several more times. Finally I remind myself that I have a responsibility to the nursery and drag myself out of my downy cocoon. *Yawn* Why does morning have to come so early? Course, it could be worse. It could be yet another Monday and I could be getting ready for work.
I stumble through my bathroom routine quickly thanks to my late start, then wander back to my room to start getting dressed for church. The alarm clock next to my bed tells me that I'm running late because I should be at the church already and we're supposed to start checking in the little ones in about 15 minutes. I pull on my nylons to cover the leg stubble I chose to ignore in the shower (I hate shaving my legs, so I don't do it whenever I can get away with it) and step into my walk-in closet to find the dress I had decided on last night before falling asleep. I slip the silky material over my head and around my body, then reach to the side to get the zipper. It zips smoothly about halfway and then catches. Hmmm....
I unzip the zipper and start again. Up, up, up to the middle, then STOP. Dang it! What's wrong with this stupid dress?
I tug and I pull. I twist the dress for leverage and pull some more. I unzip and start again. I jump up and down trying to redistribute my body and adjust the zipper. Nothing!
It's no use! This dress is determined to stay unzipped. It's times like this when I really hate being single. Even if a guy is good for nothing else, it's always useful to have a second set of hands to help with a stuck zipper.
But wait..... There is another set of hands in my apartment. Derrick is in the other room, fast asleep. I'll get him to help.
I bang on his door and run in before he has time to realize what woke him up. "Derrick, I need your help with a zipper, please!"
Jade and him blink at me in confusion. "Um, okay....?" he mutters as he reaches up to help me. Tug, tug, tug. Nothing. He sits up so that he has a better grasp and pulls with all his might but to no avail. "Sorry, Deema, but I think it's stuck."
Fine, I'll find something else to wear. I thank him and apologize for waking him up as I dash back to my room, Jade following happily at my heels. I grab the dress and pull it over my head and drop it on the closet floor while sifting through all my other pretty dresses. This one should work! I grab another dress off it's hanger and start to pull it on while mentally locating the sandals that go with it. But wait, sandals mean that I have to go without nylons and I'm not prepared for that. Drat my lazy, anti-razor ways! Shoot! Guess this dress won't work either. And besides, I really wanted to wear the other one. I pick it up one more time and pull up the zipper, which goes up with complete ease without the strain of my body inside. Naturally. I know the dress is just being stubborn because I wore it to work not too long ago and had no problem with it. Well, I'm determined, so I pull the zipped up dress over my head and start pulling it down. I'll show it! I will get this thing on!
Jade pokes her head in the closet to see what is keeping me. "Auntie, shouldn't you be going downstairs to let me go outside and then feed me? I'd really like to pee and then eat something soon."
"Jade, please leave me alone. Can't you see that I'm in wardrobe crisis mode here!"
Esther pokes her head in, too. "Don't you dare think about feeding that big ugly cat before feeding me!" she growls at me. "Don't forget who you really belong to!" She's got a point, I know. Usually I take a little more time with her in the mornings, but as the clock is now telling me that the nursery is taking in babies without the Creeper Room coordinator, I don't really have time to correct this.
So, there I am, standing in my closet with my dress over my head and an audience of arguing animals. I pull on the dress, struggling to get the 32 inch waist of the dress past my 39 inch bust. Thank goodness I've still got my God-given, squishy kind instead of the hard, plastic silicon kind. Holding my breath, I finally manage to coerce my hearty D-cups through the waist of the dress and into their proper location of the bodice. Whew! Finally!
It took a lot of effort and made me late for church. Was it worth it? You be the judge.....
**After church I decided I needed to take a nap and start the day over again. It helped my mood a little. But the dress was such trouble to get on, that I insisted on wearing it for the rest of the day rather than change into something more casual. So take that, Stupid Dress!**
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