Day 30: What I've Learned About Me

Wow, 30 days already? And I actually made it. I'm sort of proud of myself.

So, what have I learned about myself in the past 30 days?

• I learned that I actually can live my life AND keep my blog somewhat up-to-date
• I learned that I really, really miss writing (I had suspected as much, but now I realize how much)
• I learned that I don't always have to write something profound to be interesting.
• I learned I think best at night before I go to bed (unfortunately, that's usually when I'm most tired too)

And on the non-blog related issues?

• I learned that I actually like doing the domestic life things.
• I learned that I enjoy cooking and don't mind doing the dishes.
• I learned that I really need my "me" time sometimes.
• I learned that it's possible to fight with Jeff and not feel any less close to him in the aftermath.

I probably learned a lot more about myself in the past month, but these are the things that really stick out to me. Now I have to figure out how to challenge myself to keep moving forward with all this new knowledge.

Day 29: A Picture of Me As a Child

Probably one of my family's favorites. Definitely one of mine. This was taken at Oaks Park and I'm pretty sure I was less than two (cuz if I remember correctly, I finally started getting hair that made me look like a girl at two). Check me out on my tiny roller skates! My mom still has them too! Cute, huh?

Day 28: My Favorite Musician and Why

I'm not really sure I have a favorite musician. I have several favorite artists for various reasons, but to narrow it down to one all-time favorite seems impossible to me.

* I love the singer Josh Groban because his voice is the kind to make you melt. Whether he sings in English or Italian or someother language I don't understand, the sound of his voice is enough for me to keep the song turned on.

* I love various bands like Keane, Matchbox 20, Vampire Weekend, and the Foo Fighters simply because I love their sound. They all have a different sound, all very distinct and unique, and I love each of them for it.

* I love Mozart because he gave us such amazing music in his time. It's wonderful music to study by, or relax to, or sometimes just have in the background. I've heard it said that his music can stimulate the mind and that people who listen to it are actually a little smarter. How can you NOT love music that makes you smarter?

* I love Kenny G and the way he plays the sax. His is the music romantic evenings are made from.

* I have a special fondness for Henry Mancini because without him, the song I consider the most beautiful and romantic (Moon River) would never have been. He will always have a special place in my heart for giving me the song to which Jeff proposed and I walked down the aisle to meet my husband.

My guess is that since he has the most special meanings to me, Henry Mancini would be the closest to "my favorite musician" that I can get.

Day 27: A Picture of My Family

Hmm. . .  Well, the problem I face here is trying to determine which family I'm supposed to be considering. I feel like I'm in a transition period of my life and my family is shifting, but into what, exactly, I'm not sure.

Are we talking about my family of origin?

Or my newly established nuclear family?

Is it the combination of the two?

What about the whole crazy lot of them that we spend the holidays with?

See my dilemma here?

Day 26: How I Think People View Me

How I think people view me? My best guess would be with their eyes. But then again, I could be wrong.

Oh, I suppose you're looking for something a bit more profound than that. Well, let me think. . .



I guess first of all, it depends on where you are and who you are asking. When I lived in Tennessee, people saw me as very liberal and kind of stuck up. But here in the Pacific Northwest, I'm seen as somewhat conservative and maybe a uncomfortable in situations.

I'm pretty sure, though, that most people will agree that they think I'm a little bit of a princess. Course, they don't mean it in a bad way; I can't tell you how many people have said that Giselle from Enchanted reminds them of me. That might be true, although I personally don't think I'm that bad.

I think some people probably think I'm a little high maintenance. My husband would tell you that I am a little needy at times. I try not to be, but I guess sometimes I just come across that way.

I'm also pretty sure that most people would say that they view me as a "fashionable" person. I'm not into name brands or keeping up with fashion trends, but according to most my friends, I have a good sense of style and I wear my clothes well. Most my friends and family think of shoes when they think of me. I'm probably the most girly person most my friends know. Is that good or bad? Sometimes I wonder if they see me as shallow and ditzy, something along the lines of a Clueless girl or Legally Blond type. Course, eventually she proved herself to be rather clever, so I guess that wouldn't be too bad.

Most people tell me that they think I'm very smart. I think in reality, I'm just pretending well because most of the time I don't feel as smart as they seem to expect me to be. But I'll take smart over ditzy any day. They think I'm creative and clever. Sometimes I feel like I'll disappoint them if they ever realize how hard some of it is for me.

Some of my friends might think I'm a little too adventurous. I sometimes have no problem going outside of their comfort zone just to try something new. I'm always careful, but I can rarely get my friends to come along with me, which tells me I'm just a little too extreme for them.

My husband sometimes views me as lazy. He's probably right and I try really hard not to be, but I just don't feel the need to do all the things he seems to think should be done sometimes. 

Kids like me, so I know that people have to see something really good in me. I know that almost everyone I'm around usually finds my humor at some point, and somehow everyone seems to get it. I wonder how many of them recognize that really I'm just sarcastic, but try to put a gentle spin on it? Maybe some people do recognize the sarcasm and think that I'm mean. I don't know, cuz they don't tell me that.

I'm better at answering how I hope they view me. I hope people see me as kind and loving, devoted to my friends and family, and reliable. I hope they think of me as giving. I hope when they think of me, it's as smart, fair, funny, gentle, and honest. I hope they see tolerance and non-conformity (at least in the mindless, follow-the-herd mentality). I hope when the time comes, people remember me for the version I try very hard to portray and not so much for the parts I see when I'm inside looking out.

Day 25: 10 Things I Want to Do

Here they are, in no particular order:

1. Have children

2. Visit England

3. Get my scrapbooks up-to-date
4. Create a family recipe book
5. Go to a circus
6. Go to Marti Gras in Louisiana
7. Spend my birthday in Hawaii
8. Learn to dance (tap, swing, ballroom, anything. . .)
9. Go to Boston and see the things I missed last time (Fenway Stadium!)
10. Convince Jeff to let me have a dog (he's okay with it on a hypothetical level, now I just have to get it on a reality level)

Day 24: The Last Random Act of Kindness I Encountered

Does it count if it was my husband? He doesn't think so, but sometimes I can't help but be overwhelmed at his kind and thoughtful ways toward me.

I know I mentioned this particular event on Facebook the other day, but it's such an amazing act of kindness (in my opinion) that it deserves being told again:

Jeff and I went to Sears to use some of the gift cards that we had gotten for the wedding. We debated between a power drill and a bedding set and finally settled on a bedding set (but we went back for his drill the next day). The cashier put the comforter-sheets-and-pillowcases set in the largest bag she could find and Jeff carried the awkward package out for me.

When we got outside the store, we saw it was pouring rain (gotta love our great Washington weather). We hadn't brought the umbrella because when we left the apartment, it was clear and dry. The car wasn't too far away, but we would be drenched when we got to it anyway.

Jeff told me to wait where I was (safe and dry under the stores awning) and he would go get the car and bring it to me. I remember thinking "Aw, what a sweet guy!" He left our bulky purchase with me and went out to brave the cold downpour of rain.

That's not the part that surprised me. As much as I appreciated it, it's what I expected any gentleman would do in that situation. No, the thing that got me was after he drove the car around to where I was waiting. I had picked up the bag and was ready to make the run to the car to throw it in the back seat before getting myself in the car when I saw his door open. Jeff jumped out of his seat, ran around the car (in the pouring rain!) and opened my door so that I only had to spend minimal time in the rain. He took the bag from me and put it in thte backseat and then ran around to his seat and got in.

I know, it doesn't seem like much, but Jeff had already braved the wet and was safe and warm in the car. I fully expected to take care of getting myself and the bag in the car on my own. I didn't expect him to give up his dryness once again just to keep me out of the rain as much as possible.

Jeff says that this shouldn't count as a "random act of kindness" because to him there was nothing random about it. It's what he thinks should always be done. He hates that I make a big deal of it, but to me it IS a big thing. Most guys I know (and pretty much all the ones I dated) would only have gone as far as bring the car over to me. After that, it would be every man for himself. But not Jeff. He's just so kind that way.

It's one of the things I love most about him.